Sort of wonder why I missed a kiss for you....

I can't stop listening to 'Grow Up and Blow Away' by Metric. I'm addicted to chick emo.

"I got your nice 5 minute phone message."
I have a terrible habit of calling people when I'm drunk.
Saturday night was fun and not fun. I remember starting to drink, and then I just refilled my glass over and over again until I could barely walk. Somehow I made dinner, while talking to myself; "Ok, be careful, don't touch the stove..." When I layed down the room was spinning and I got up to puke. Back in bed, everything went black until my eyes opened at 7:30 am.

The nightmares haven't fully stopped, they're just different.
In a poorly-crafted boat, surrounded by half-dead people and discarded needles. There are drugs and bottles everywhere. I have lost my luggage, I don't know where I'm going, and I'm scared.

I'm in bed, with someone leaning over me, not moving. Everything is fuzzy, my eyes won't focus on whoever it is. "Who are you?" I ask over and over, trying to escape or at least see who is holding me down. He won't answer. I don't know what it is, but no one will answer me in my dreams. They will talk to me, but when I talk back, it's as if I'm not there.

Last night's dream was so vivid and full of plot. I knew exactly what was happening, it was as if I was in a movie.
"Someone is going to find out. We need to leave now."
He was older than me, with a beard and empty eyes. I was an art teacher, and I lived in the barn below the huge farm house. I woke up exhausted after 8 hours sleep. How does that work? So I got my sketchbook and drew for three hours. It's like therapy for me now. Escape. I draw what I feel because I can't express it anyway else.






"First double-cross her heart, he wants to start a family. She always thought she would not."
-Metric