The only way to get there's to go straight down....

I would really rather not work tomorrow....

Tonight was fun. Hung out with Jason, Graham, Sarah, and Pat. We went to the beach and lit a fire. I walked off alone to climb a tree and watch the sun set, then found it hard to get back down. So I climbed a different one. Graham left, and the four of us got drinks and went to Mcgirr School. I layed around and watched the stars, waltzing in and out of conversations. Forcing my mouth into a smile so I wouldn't have to explain any other reaction, (or lack there-of).

Sometimes I question the purpose of this blog. I mean, it started out as mainly a resource for me to express stuff. Now, I kind of rely on it to explain myself to people. The thing is, I don't think anyone really gets it. I don't think the important things are absorbed. I come to conclusions about big issues, and nothing seems any different afterwards.

"Treat others as you wish to be treated." What an important load of sappy bullshit. A concept drilled into you from elementary school onwards. And I still haven't quite grasped it. I draw myself further away from people, and assume that they will try to do something to keep me from leaving. Truth is, if I want something out of my relationships with people, I have to give it first. And it's hard for me to do that. Even if I feel it on the inside.

Well. It's time to escape into the night. To think further. To expand upon what I thought about in previos posts. It's funny. When I finally 'figure something out', it's almost as if that's the first step and not the final one. I've reached a level of understanding, now I need to work from there. Build my life around it.












"This situation isn't getting any better; I see that look in your eyes."
-Thrice..... or is it Funeral For A Friend? No, I think it's Thrice.