Let's get out of this mess, no one will even know we left...

I've got the post-drink-binge dizzies. I think that's what causes them. Hopefully... cuz I have no time to go to the doctor and figure out what else it could be, haha.

My parents bought me some food and supplies for moving out today. I finished packing my room. It's basically a stereo, a bed, and a whole bunch of boxes. My back is killing me. For the second day in a row. It's almost time to leave...

I found out that I used those three days to escape what I didn't understand and what I didn't want to try to understand. I was angry that I isolated myself. I was upset that I couldn't find the words to tell you how I really felt. We went to the beach and talked and I went from a little 'off' to normal again. That always seems to happen. You taught me that if you really want something, sometimes you have to be the first one to give it.

I'm still totally confused and I don't even know where to start understanding, but at least it's not bringing me down anymore. I know that I only get like that when I shut out the rest of the world. I seperate myself when I don't want to figure out important things. So I know that if I want to avoid that again, I can't drink when I'm in that state. I need to think things through, and talk things through. I need help sometimes. I can't always do it by myself, as much as I'd like to think so.

I think that's really all I have to say. I'm tired, sore, and my mind is on other things. I'm really psyched about moving, now that the reality of it all is sinking in. I probably won't be able to focus on much else for a little while.








"Is there anything I need to say that hasn't been said before? I've been polite for too long, why should I be anymore?"
-MGB