And you wake up in the morning to find out you are not who you used to be...

I picked you out of a crowd to talk to you. Said I liked your shoes.
You said thanks can I follow you? So it's up the stairs And out of view
No prying eyes I poured some wine I asked your name you asked the time
Well it's two o'clock Yeah the club is closed we're up the block
Your hands on me Pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth Trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know Who else may have been here before
I want a lover I don't have to love I want a girl who's to sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals? I thought he said he'd meet us here but I'm not sure
I got the money if you got the time He said it feels good I said I'll give it a try
Then my mind went dark We both forgot where your car was parked Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning
Bad actors with bad habits Some sad singers They just play tragic
Now the phone's ringing And the band's leaving Let's just keep touching
Let's just keep keep singing
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind
But you but you You write such pretty words
But life's no story book Love is an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt Do you like to hurt? 'Cause I do I do I do This didn't hurt me
Didn't hurt me Oh this hurt me
-Lover I Don't Have To Love, Bright Eyes

It's wierd. Conor Oberst seems like he's speaking right to me. Every word feels like it's written directly from my soul. I love Bright Eyes.

"We tried all forms of encouragement, but it's still no better. You just can't seem to fake or force a smile."

An invitation to the PA. A chance to completely ignore what I didn't want to do for a third night in a row. But, when you look at it, it's another chance to talk about bullshit with a small group of friends, and a precursor to feeling sorry for myself the next day. It's all in good fun. I don't know my answer yet.

I just spent four and a half hours listening to music and laying on my bed. My whole body felt so tired. Like I had been on my feet for days. I needed sleep, but every time I got close, my eyes would pop open. I dozed periodically. And finally got out of bed, drawn by the fact that I hadn't eaten in too long.


"I'll make peace with the falling leaves, I see their same fate in my own body."
-Bright Eyes