You should be careful what you wish for, because all of what amounts becomes you....

I can remember way back in elementary school when I was being taught how to write proper essays. I learned that each essay must have an introductory sentence. This piece of information was grilled into me for a good chapter or so. One of the main points though, was that the introductory sentence was not supposed to be obvious. Such as: 'This essay is about how stupid the educational system is'. So. In conclusion, here's the accumulation of all I learned in elementary school about introductory sentences: This blog will be about my sister. Fuck you, elementary school.

The other morning I woke up on a day that I was supposed to be working, (it was a schedule misunderstanding; I was forgiven), having slept in past the usual nine am. I got out of bed and looked around my shit-hole room and was suprised to find something out of place. On my dresser was a tupperware dish holding water and two lilac blooms. I smiled, wondering who it could be that left me my favourite flower to wake up to. I went to my dresser and breathed in the thick scent of lilac. I wondered who would have taken time out of their day to leave the simplest of gestures for me to see first thing in the morning. Then I went about my day and completely forgot about them.

This evening my sister and I were home together, without any plans, which is a fucking miracle. We decided to go out for ice cream. We started catching up on eachother's lives and eachother's friend's lives, and just enjoyed walking in the dark.
"So did you like the present I left for you the other morning?"
I had found the culprit. I laughed.
"I saw the flowers and something just made me go and pick you some. I left them in your room while you were sleeping."
I was touched. Whatever was missing between us for awhile there was immediately rekindled. Knowing that she had thought of me out of the blue one morning was.....nice. We continued on to Dairy Queen, got our ice cream, and took the long way home. As we were crossing the overpass on the highway, we heard a huge commotion of crushing metal and squealing tires. My entire body took on the form of ice and extreme heat all in one. Below, a small white car veered off the highway and drove up over the barrier while a red car skidded out of the intersection. Here's where, later on, I recalled a dramatic difference between the way my sister and I act in emergencies. The first words out of my mouth were: "We have to go down there and see if everyone's ok." Tracey, I would later learn, was thinking much more rationally. She explained to me that the only thing on her mind was the equation of crashing cars equalling explosions. She tried to tell me to stay on the bridge, or slowly make my way down, but I didn't even hear what she was saying. I took off back down the ramp. I don't think I've ever ran that fast in my life. I can't believe I wasn't thinking of fire or anything like that. I was completely oblivious. I ran past the first car, the white one, which was surrounded by a group of confused teenagers. Behind that, closer to the red car, the two drivers were arguing about what had happened. The driver of the red car was a middle-aged man. I ran past them too, asking if everyone was ok, but knowing my real concer was anyone NOT on their feet. In the grass, a few feet away from the scene, was a girl sitting and hugging her knees. I ran up to her. She was crying and rocking back and forth. She was probably around my age, maybe younger. I kneeled down beside her, put my arm around her shoulders, and asked if she was ok. She shakily answered that she was scared, but not badly hurt. I stayed with her for a few minutes, making sure she was fine, then I stood up to look around. I couldn't see Tracey anywhere.
"Hey! This car's dripping gas and it's getting really hot, you guys should get away from it!"
I forget who it was that warned us, but the crowd around the accident took note, and moved away. I found Tracey, and followed her to a safer distance from the cars. The rest of the event just kind of blurred past. The cops came. We made sure we weren't needed, and we walked the rest of the way home. After getting over the initial shock of it all, Tracey and I were entertained by how differently we reacted to the whole situation. I could have been blown to bits had the car exploded, and I wasn't even thinking that. Seriously, the thought never entered my mind. Maybe I should adopt some rationality from her. And here I am thinking I'm the most rational person I can think of. I guess in emergencies, that trait just goes out the window.
Well. Enough drama for tonight. I am goddamn tired.




"The world is a drought when out of love."
-Incubus