There's no promise of safety on these second-hand wings....

Show tomorrow. I'm...hmmm...less nervous than I was before. Tonight I had to model for my sister's fashion show. When she first asked me I said, "No. Abso-fucking-lutely not." But then I came around and decided to do her a favour. It went well. I had fun. I think the reason I'm less nervous is that tonight I realized I have absolutely no problem being onstage in front of a bunch of people.
"That girl had more make-up than I have expressable emotions."
"It's true. But quit laughing. You won't be laughing when you look like a crack whore."
It's true. I did look like a crack whore. Actually, I was told I looked like 'sex'. Whatever that means. I had dark eyes and my hair was all back in this pseudo-faux-hawk thing.
"Hillary, you are so hot!"
When I wasn't onstage, I sat off to the side and watched everyone else's sections. It went really well, even though we were so fucking disorganized backstage.

Alex Caswell in a kilt. Shit damn. That's all I'll say.

Earlier in the day I went downtown with my dad to check out a gretsch at Ferguson's. Not surprisingly enough, it sucked. Nice guitar; shitty sound. After that, we went to the bookstore and I got a bunch of poltics, economics, and other texts. I love boring books. I never read fiction. It's always texts or true stories. I'm such a loser. My dad and I came out of the bookstore to walk in the rain. Everything smelled good downtown. We went and got food at Thrifty's, then we went home.

Last night I went out. Listened to some Dismemberment Plan. Starting to like them more. My sister had given me this McDicks coupon for a free drink, so I decided to go up to Rutherford and redeem it. Unfortunately, the assholes locked the doors at 11:30. So I walked along Uplands road, heading for Departure Bay Beach. By the time I got to Rock City, I was tired and thirsty. So I just went home. When I got back, I went to my room, opened my window all the way, and fell asleep. In the morning, I woke up to the steady roar of rain hitting pavement. I hadn't slept long enough. My body begged for more. I got up anyway.

I recorded my day completely backwards. My brother just walked into the house. He's totally stoned.





"So I stand in the sun and I breathe with my lungs, trying to spare myself the weight of the truth."
-Bright Eyes