See, the object of the game is we don't see it as one.

So the Facebook world has been in a bit of an uproar lately over this Kony business. When I first watched the viral video, I took it at face value. I was unaware of much of Africa's issues and political goings-on and what I saw was an average white American spotlighting the issue of child slavery and translating said issues to not only the rest of the world, but struggling to translate them to his own young son. The video did an excellent job of stirring my emotions and I was often torn between shedding thick-throated tears and managing a broiling, uncomfortable anger. I also, however felt a slight uneasiness while watching it and couldn't decide whether it was brought on by the almost-sleazy eagerness of the presenter or the niggling feeling that the whole thing may not be 100% accurate. I considered watching it and moving on, but the entire point of the video was to share it; spread the message, bring the war criminal to justice, tiptoe into the murky waters of solving world peace. I felt a twinge of guilt when considering not posting it and as I look back I am mildly ashamed at the amount of emotional control and degree of blackmail I felt whilst watching passively. After posting it I also felt a slight satisfaction, a glimmer of a sense of purpose; a feeling that, however small the effort, I had done my part. I was under no illusion that clicking 'share' constituted any sort of effort in the fight for issues far above my head, but I was avoiding the guilt, see, of not simply clicking a button. I'm astounded by the degree of influence it had on me and can't decide whether it's because of my own emotional weakness or the strength of powerful imagery paired with a heart-wrenching social message. Mere hours after the video made it's first croppings-up around the Facebook garden, the backlash began. 'Anti-' videos shot up like sharp, neon weeds, begging for the same level of attention. They sprouted and spread with the same ferocity as the original video and I immediately felt sheepish. Wasn't I more careful than this? Didn't I know to read/view with a watchful eye and a critical mind? I usually take the cop-out route, if I am to be completely honest, when it comes to political issues. I don't understand politics enough to voice my opinions on a soapbox, but I rely on my gut feelings when it comes to voting or choosing where I spend my money. I used to be much more of an activist when I was younger and I still have all the books from my 'rebellious' phase. I still feel that hot, searing hate when I perceive a social injustice or if I'm just plain feeling helpless in a governmental/political sense. I suppose I miss the time when I had the feistiness and courage to speak out although I'm sure I spewed my fair share of uneducated bullshit back then. This is where anyone could step in and say, "There's no excuse for not educating yourself," and I would have to wholeheartedly agree. However, I know that if I started getting into 'it' again, it would take me over and I would end up becoming very cynical and untrustworthy. I suppose I'm a bit one-side-or-the-other. I'm either fire-bellied and balls-deep into the thick of activism, or I'm completely passive to the point of seeming ignorant. I've become very wary of any forms of media, even the seemingly-subversive ones. I'm starting to think that 'truth' is a dream of the optimist. I'm afraid of spouting off on any political topic that fires me up for fear of getting ripped to shreds over social media. I know that a huge part of awareness is debate and discussion but I'd rather sit back, watch it unfold and form my own opinion once the dust settles. I guess I'm pretty notorious for expressing myself as meekly and passively as possible. I prefer to hide behind written words, paintbrush strokes and guitar chords.

Further proof of my lacksadaisical attitude towards the fierce protection of my values is my choice of job. To be fair, employment is hard to come by in this day and age. I was lucky enough to be employed at all over here, let alone this quickly, at a decent wage, and with reasonable hours. My job involves an obscene amount of organization and multitasking and, without sounding too cocky, I'm pretty damn good at it considering I've only been there for three weeks. Problem is, for those who don't know already, I'm working at a pharmacy. I'm working for an industry I abhor. Granted, I'm on the logistics end of things and am not directly responsible for hard-selling medication to the over-medicated, but it is still part of my job to not only reach sales levels, but to reach sales levels for an industry I do not personally support. I can't really go recommending bed rest and positive thinking to a pill-hungry population eagerly upholding the mindset of 'fighting' their ailments as opposed to coping with them. I have, first- and second-handedly, experienced the power of alternative medicine but I also recognize the power of your own mind, and if your mind tells you that such-and-such medication actually helps you, then it probably will. That's not to say that the little ethical voice in my head doesn't constantly nag me every time I entertain the idea of a future with this company. It does. Softly, but firmly. In typical Hillary fashion, the concern lies less with the fact of whether I enjoy the job and more with what my fellow hippie-leaning friends will think. Despite the fact that I'm proud of myself for securing reliable employment in a job that highlights my logistic talents, I sometimes think I would be much happier stuck at home writing all day. Queue the 'grass is always greener' paradox. When I did have time to sit at home and create all day, I didn't. I moped about lamenting my lack of job and becoming ever-less enchanted by the housewife lifestyle.

I work with a very intelligent locus pharmacist who asks me lots of uncomfortable questions when we close together and business is slow. He has drilled me about Canadian business practices, education options whilst raising children, post-secondary responsibility and working for money vs. working for passion. He challenges me to think differently, much as working a new job or watching a viral video does. Strangely enough, after only a few days of working with me, he asked why I wasn't in school and told me what my options were as far as learning from home.

"You know what one of the most financially rewarding jobs is?"

"What?"

"Being a banker. You become a banker; you will make lots of money."

"Ha! I could never be a banker. You can't become an ethical banker."