Confessions of the newly sober.

So. My New Year's resolution was to quit drinking and I am currently at day 16. That's two whole weekends without getting totally hammered and not remembering what I did! Yay! I went into the liquor store the other day, solely for research purposes, and asked the clerk what type of wine is best to drink for health benefits. He gave me a look that translated into, 'Right, like you're not going to go chug the whole bottle in the parking lot.' People are so unsupportive.

I've been bombarded with phone calls from old flames.
"Let's get a hotel room."
"I'll pick you up, I'll take care of everything."
"I still love you."
What the hell, seriously. I'm not one to turn down a good offer, but for some reason I'm just not in the right state of mind. Surprisingly, I'm beginning to tire of unsubstantial relationships. Could I be growing older? I don't know why, but the text book romance complete with pet names and Friday night movies is starting to look oddly appealing. I think I just gagged a little.

Whoever thought a job at a coffee shop, while being totally rad, could also spur enormous amounts of hatred for the general public. If you ask me for a Grande anything, I will smack your mouth. If you want your foam extra creamy, I will gladly hock a nice wad of spit in it for you. And if you come in anytime after 7:30, you may as well turn right around because you're guaranteed the shittiest service available. And no, you can't have a coffee sleeve, suck it up buttercup.

I don't really feel like sharing today.