I can't hold on forever, even walls fall down.

Why do I feel like laughing? My heart just took a fist through the main aorta, a fist equipped with sharp nails and three years of lies. My face is still wet with salt and my arms are shaking like a hangover, but I want to laugh. Does THAT make me crazy?

Fooled again! The one with the never-ending capacity to love and forgive has been FUCKED over by two very close people. I had a big cry, well 'big' in my standards, because I hardly ever cry. Don't you hate the sort of cry that chokes the words from your mouth and shakes your shoulders and makes you weak in the knees? Anyway, I had one of those today. It was grand. A real good release of livid emotion and a real good accumulation of regret and loneliness. I got out my hammer and nails and boarded a few more layers around my already-sheltered heart, making sure to seal all the cracks with blood clots so no light can get in or out. It's nice and dark in there now, safe and warm. Comatose. I held my hand above my left breast just to make sure I could feel the steady thump-thump-thump, and yep, it's still there, it's just much quieter now.
Everything changes so quickly when you go away. People you thought were your friends turn out to be empty shells with mouths full of baloney.

The blood I shared with you turned sour tonight, in fact, I think I felt it curdle a little. My mind can't begin to wrap itself around your concept of morals and respect. Where do you get off? Oh wait, bad question.